{Ladies and gentlemen of the GED class of 1999   I have one piece of advice for you   No matter what a stripper tells you   There's no sex in the champagne room   None}      {Oh there's champagne in the champagne room   But you don't want champagne, you want sex   And there's no sex   In the champagne room}      Don't go to parties with metal detectors   Sure it feels safe inside, but what about   All those niggaz waitin' outside with guns?   They know you ain't got one      If a woman tells you she's 20 and looks 16, she's 12   If she tells you she's 26, and looks 26, she's damn near 40   Take off that silly-ass hat   The O.D.B. couldn't have possibly committed all those crimes   Coolio did some of that shit      Young black men, if you go to a movie theater   And someone steps on your foot, let it slide   Why spend the next twenty years in jail   'Cause someone smudged your Puma?   Cornbread, ain't nuttin' wrong with that      No matter what you think of what I'm sayin'   Remember this one thing   There is no sex   In the champagne room      No sex in the champagne room   No sex in the champagne room   No sex in the champagne room   No sex in the champagne room   No sex in the champagne room   No sex in the champagne room   Absolutely, positively, no sex in the champagne room      If a homeless person, has a funny sign   He hasn't been homeless that long   A real homeless person   Is too hungry, to be funny      If a girl has a pierced tongue   She'll probably suck your dick   If a guy has a pierced tongue   He'll probably suck your dick      Here's a horoscope for everyone   Aquarius, you're gonna die   Capricorn, you're gonna die   Gemini, you're gonna die twice   Leo, you're gonna die   Scorpio, you're gonna die fucking   Ohh yeah   No one goes to hooters for wings   No no no      If you've been dating a man for four months   And you haven't met any of his friends   You are not his girlfriend      Some of the things I've said may not apply to you   Some of the things I've said may offend you   But no matter who you are, you must remember this one thing      No matter what a stripper says   There's no sex in the champagne room   None      No sex in the champagne room   Said no sex in the champagne room   No sex in the champagne room   No no sex in the champagne room   No sex in the champagne room   Can't get none   Can't have none   In the champagne room   Said there's absolutely, positively   No sex in the champagne room      Said no, no   Said no   Said Chris said.   There ain't no sex   In the champagne room   No no no   Can't get none   Can't have none