When I saw you at the grocery store   You were sharing a shopping cart with her   And I couldn't turn and run away, I didn't know what to say      You introduced us for the first time   And I had to look her in the eye   But you could not imagine my surprise, can't you see      You're leaving me for an ugly girl      Does she talk about politics   And all the stuff that used to make me sick   Does she smoke cigars and stay up late, oh, she's so great      Does she tell you what you want to hear   And I bet that she can grow a beard   I'd feel better thinking you were queer, it's not fair      I can't compare to an ugly girl   To an ugly girl      The jokes on me   I feel jealous and I feel mean   Is she so nice that it makes up for her face, there's no way      Do you have to keep your eyes closed   Do you have to keep the lights down low   Oh, I bet you wish you had a blindfold, can't you see      You're leaving me for an ugly girl   For an ugly girl   She's an ugly girl, a real ugly girl      She's an ugly girl, an ugly girl   She's an ugly girl