Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)   Warren cucurullo (rhythm guitar, vocals)   Denny walley (slide guitar, vocals)   Ike willis (lead vocals)   Peter wolf (keyboards)   Arthur barrow (bass, vocals)   Ed mann (percussion)   Vinnie colaiuta (drums)      Arriving at l. ron hoover's modernistic office / cathedral / warehouse / condominium complex, joe is greeted by a pre-recorded message and a dramatically illuminated image on a wall-sized tv scr   .      L. ron hoover:   Welcome to the first church of appliantology! the white zone is for loading and unloading only!      Don't you be tarot-fied   It's just a token   Of my extreme   Don't you be tarot-fied   It's just a token   Of my extreme      Don't you never try to   Look behind my eyes   You don't wanna know   What they have seen   Don't you never try to   Look behind my eyes   You don't wanna know   What they have seen      Joe: (thinking to himself)   Some people think   That if they go too far   They'll never get back   To where the rest of   Them are   I might be crazy   But there's one thing   I know   You might be surprised   At what you find   When ya go!      And thus, having ration- alized his expedition to l. ron's modernistic office / cathedral / warehouse / condominium complex, joe seeks the answer to his problem...      Joe:   Oh oh oh   Mystical advisor   What is my problem,   Tell me   Can you see?       L. ron hoover:   Well, you have nothing   To fear, my son!   You are a latent   Appliance fetishist,   It appears to me!      Joe:   That all seems very,   Very strange   I never craved   A toaster   Or a color t.v.      L. ron hoover:   A latent appliance   Fetishist   Is a person who   Refuses to admit   To his or herself   That sexual   Gratification can   Only be achieved   Through the use of   Machines...   Get the picture?       Joe:   Are you telling me   I should come out   Of the closet now   Mr. ron?       L. ron hoover:   No, my son!   You must go into   The closet      Joe:   What?       L. ron hoover:   And you will have      Joe:   Heh?       L. ron hoover:   Hey!   A lot of fun!   That's where   They all live   So if you want an   Appliance to love you   You'll have to   Go in there   'n' get you one      Joe:   Well...that seems   Simple enough...      L. ron hoover:   Yes, but if you want a   Really good one,   You'll have to learn a   Foreign language...      Joe:   German, for instance?       L. ron hoover:   That's right...   A lot of really cute   Ones come from   Over there!   (fifty bucks, please)   And a cheerful group of   Appliantologists dance   Into the room wearing   Aluminum foil lab smocks,   Lock arms in a circle   Around joe, making sure   He pays in full, all the   While singing with l. ron   As he delivers his final   Instructions...      L. ron hoover:   If you been   Mod-o-fied,   It's an illusion,   An yer in between   Don't you be   Tarot-fied,   It's just a lot of nothin',   So what can it mean?       If you been   Mod-o-fied,   It's an illusion,   An yer in between   Don't you be   Tarot-fied,   It's just a lot of nothin',   So what can it mean?       If you been   Mod-o-fied,   It's an illusion,   An yer in between...