Eddie, are you kidding?   I've seen you on my TV   Eddie, are you kidding?   The people always ask me   I saw your double knits   I thought they were the pits   You threw it in a bag   And then you sent me home - -   What!?   Eddie, are you kidding?   No, no.   Eddie, are you kidding?   No, no.   Eddie, are you teasing   About your rancid garments?   Eddie, are you teasing   About your sixty tailors?   I'm coming over shortly   Because I am a portly   You promised you could fit me   In fifty Dollar suit - -   Oh   Eddie, are you kidding?   No, no.   Eddie, are you kidding?   No, no.      Eddie, my friends ask me,   Eddie, Eddie, are you kidding?   I wanna tell you something,   my friends:   I am not kidding.   Here at Zachary All   We have sixty tailors   In the back room.   We have the west's largest   Selections of portly's, regulars   Longs, extra longs, and cadets.   And my friends say to me: Eddie,   Eddie, what do you think of the new Double Knits?   (Eddie, what do you think of the new Double Knits?)   And I tell them: I'll tell you   Something frankly, my friends - -   When the new double knits first   Came out, I was not impressed.   But as you can see   These pants I'm wearing   Are double knit. They stretch   In all the right places.   They're most comfortable.   Our model Twiggy here will demostrate.   I have this lovely little   Seersucker ... wait a minute      WHERE CAN I GO GARDENA?   AND WHERE CAN I GO IN L.A.   AND WHERE CAN I GO IN ROSEMONT   I NEED SOME THREADS TODAY      I need the knits   The double knits   I need the knits   They are the pits   I need the knits   The double knits   I'm coming over shortly   Because I am a portly   You promised you could fit me   In fifty Dollar suit - -   Whew!   Eddie, are you kidding? No, no.   Eddie, are you kidding? No, no.   Eddie, are you kidding? No, no.   Eddie, are you kidding me?   Eddie, are you kidding me?   Eddie, are you kidding me?      No, my friends, I'm not kidding,   Right here on the miracle mile   We have the west's largest   Selections of portly, regular   Cadet, tall and long.   And not only that - -   My brother Jake and Little Emil   And sixty tailors ...