Well I was sittin' on a barstool drinkin' in a honky tonk way downtown   My money's all gone been here so long don't know why I keep hangin' around   I wanna tell you now bartender you're gonna find   There ain't nothing no better sweeter or wetter   Than they grow on the California Grapevine      The last thing I remember bout last night was bein' tossed out in the yard   I don't remember exactly the things I said but I wish you wouldn't took it so hard   I wanna tell you now and I know and I know you're gonna find   There ain't nothing no better...      Well the mission's closed up for evening Salvation Army's locked up tight   I been thinkin' bout sluggin' that guy next to me so I can get locked up for the night   I want to tell you now bartender...      The State Pol' he's out here to get me Lord I ain't never seen a man that size   And I know he ain't gonna do no messin' around I can tell by the look in his eyes   Hey hey bartender it's a night to pluck your mind   There ain't nothing no better...      Well I woke up early this morning sleepin' on that drunk tank floor   Was gonna call mama come go my bell for you'd heard that song before   I wanna pay you now you better save my place in line   There ain't nothing no better...   There ain't nothing no better...   There ain't nothing no better...