Goin' down a dusty road, I turned my head 'round   Looking for somewhere to go, a place to lay my head down   Check into a small hotel and there before my eyes   Stood a man with a trumpet in his hand   Trying to make the people understand, he stops and sighs and says      "Half a chance   Give the singers half a chance and they'll sing and dance through the night   Lend an ear, please   And the band will play the things you'll want to hear   There's no doubt   That before tonight is over you'll scream and shout 'Hip hooray!'   In the meantime   There is only one more thing I'd like to say"      Spoke about the well-known faces appearing in the show   Star attraction of the evening would be Billy with his big banjo   But first of all, a sweet little lady who'd have us all screamin' for more   Lily, the striptease queen with the biggest pair you've ever seen.      Down and down   Went her long black stockings and, as they hit the ground, the boys went mad   Everyone agreed   That it was the greatest time they'd ever had   On and on   Now the night was nearly over except for Billy and his big banjo   Billy sang a song called 'The Truckdriver Man'   And we joined in for a chorus or two and then I went to bed.      "Half a chance   Give the singers half a chance and they'll sing and dance through the night   Lend an ear, please   And the band will play the things you'll want to hear   There's no doubt   That before tonight is over you'll scream and shout 'Hip hooray!'   In the meantime   There is only one more thing I'd like to say"            Electric Guitar: Alan Parker   Piano: Tom Parker   Bass: Gary Taylor   Drums: Henry Spinetti   Lead Vocals: Gerry Rafferty   Backing Vocals: Gerry Rafferty / Joe Egan