Mr. Universe, can you help me please?   I'm only seven stone two   When I'm on the beach, the girls stay out of reach   They all want someone like you.      You've got to help me, now please Mr. Universe   Don't tell me that I'm just a hopeless case   Don't let me down now, please Mr. Universe   I'm sick of getting sand thrown in my face.      Mr. Universe, you know it's getting worse   I need your seven-day plan   I'm thinner every day, before I waste away   I need a muscle-bound man.      You've got to help me, now please Mr. Universe   Don't tell me that I'm just a hopeless case   Don't let me down now, please Mr. Universe   I'm sick of getting sand thrown in my face.      You've got to help me, now please Mr. Universe   Don't tell me that I'm just a hopeless case   Don't let me down now, please Mr. Universe   I'm sick of getting sand thrown in my face.            Acoustic Guitar: Gerry Rafferty   Electric Guitar: Alan Parker   Keyboards: Tom Parker   Bass: Gary Taylor   Drums: Henry Spinetti   Lead Vocals: Gerry Rafferty   Backing Vocals: Gerry Rafferty / Joe Egan   Mystery Voices: Rab Noakes / Hugh Murphy