i am losing my love for adventure   i'm losing all respect   for me and myself tonight   i wonder what happens if i get to   the end of this tunnel   and there isn't a light   i've worn down the treads   on all of my tires   i've worn through the elbows   and the knees of my clothing   i am stumbling down   the gravel driveway of desire   trying not to wake up   my sleeping self-loathing      do you ever have that dream   where you open your mouth   and you try to scream   but you can't make a sound   that's every day starting now   that's every day starting now      don't tell me it's gonna be alright   you can't sell me on your optimism tonight      it's stiff competition   to see who can stay up later   the stars or the street lights   all they really want   is to be alone with the darkness   no more wish i may   no more wish i might      it takes a stiff upper lip   just to hold up my face   i got to suck it up and savor   the taste of my own behavior   i am spinning with longing   faster than a roulette wheel   this is not who i meant to be   this is not how i meant to feel      i don't think i am strong enough   to do this much longer   god i wish i was stronger   this song could never be long enough   to express every longing   god i wish it was longer