Ah, I awakened from a wet dream   In which I was restless [unverified]   My imagination could no longer take me there   So I slid into my copping haberdashery   And gave into the original Jones, sex      Now, my sexy Jones was below sea level   The hornies occupied my being   I was at that stage where most men would say   "Hey ho', it's your life or your lay", but I was cooler than that   She said, "No compute"      I spotted a lady who was also on the prowl   I could tell by her makeup, plus the scent was there   So I sashayed over to her, and, ah, spoke of my plan   She screamed and said   "Are you asking to make love to me?"      I said, "Is pig, what's in pork?   Or you gonna play hard   After all the trouble you went through to get chosen"   She said, ah, "No compute"      Finally, she said, ah   "I could, ah, probably go for what you're talking about   But it's really about my birth control pill"   I said, "All looks are not alike, all holes are not a crack   When in doubt, vamp"      "Or at least ad-lib   And of course you know that spit don't make babies"   She smiled, and said, "No compute"   But I could tell that she was getting interested   [Unverified]      So off we went   There was fun to be had, love to be made   "Strange", I said to myself after I laid   Smoking a last joint before I [unverified] to sleep   "What a man will go for when the hornies, ah, set in"      Well, suddenly as she laid there, mouth wide open   Wig half off, snoring, breath smelling like a 1948 Buick   I was sick with the filthies, and she smiled in her sleep   As if to say, "All looks are not alike, all holes are not a crack"