Oh, the ways of the world and the wants of a woman   If I figured them all out it would take many years      I once had a sweetheart, the fairest of maidens   She outshined all others that I'd known by far   I had a friend, a big fella, named Big Harlan Taylor   Harlan had a rubber-tired, new shiny car      Oh, the ways of the world and the wants of a woman   If I figured them all out it would take many years      By the wants of a woman she fell for Big Harlan   I tried, but in vain, for to take my own life   Suddenly, I had lost all my will to keep livin'   She had lost her desire to become my young wife      Oh, the ways of the world and the wants of a woman   If I figured them all out it would take many years      I wanted revenge and waylaid for Big Harlan   Then I started wonderin' what good would it do   If a rubber-tired, new shiny car's her ambition   Then she can just have it and Big Harlan, too      Oh, the ways of the world and the wants of a woman   If I figured them all out it would take many years      If I figured them all out it would take many years