At the top of the social ladder I speak    Let me welcome you here officially    To the back drop of martini clatter    Break the ice with superficial chatter    I'm glad to be this year's MC    To greet the chic and the elite    Yeah, you finally get to mix and mingle    Pressing flesh until your fingers tingle       Worldwide socialites unite    OK, alright       The band is grander than I recall    The talk is cultured, if a little small    Keep parading your charading manners    Keep pretending that it really matters    Don't ask, don't tell    And please don't stare at the emperor    In his underwear    Special thanks to the snack committee    Heavens, don't those tarts look pretty       Worldwide socialites unite    Enjoy the conversation    But try to keep it light    Just avoid the friction    And if you feel conviction    Well then, baby, step outside    Let's keep the "lite" in social    Let's keep the social light    Let's keep the "lite" in socialite       Worldwide socialites unite    Avoid the dreaded question    The meaning of our lives    And as to God's existence    Well, that's your private business    And, quite frankly, impolite    Let's keep the "lite" in social    Let's keep this social light    Let's keep the "lite" in socialite