Five guys take a ride   Drive a day and half a night   Get to see some pretty scenery   But if that's all there is to this    This band would split right down to the seams   Southbound, static on the radio   We left town   But where we're goin' I don't know    Somewhere we're gonna play   another show   Quick get off and gas up at the Conoco   We're driving   We drive against the grain    Like postmen in the rain   Welcome to our big rock show   Wind us up and watch this puppy go   Hope you heard a single word we said   One little rock to rattle in your head   Hey kid, pit mosh   Please avoid the flashpot   Yeah, it's really funny 'til an eyebrow    gets singed off   Your mother's got nothing here to fear or dread   Our abrasive is gentle on a baby's skin head   Soundchecks   Don't forget the spandex   This mix is sounding like a bad train wreck   It takes some spit and grit and sweat   To give you more than you expect   We're driven    To give you what we know   Like postmen through the show   Got a cryptic coder   On the microphone   Find the secret message   Buried in our big rock show