Said you were restless   I didn't like your dresses   Thought you would move   To another part of town      I got your message   Been sifting through the wreckage   For this excuse   We called a life      A DIY quickie slow divorce   Marriage vows broken   On the rocks   Mine's a slice   With a G & T   And here's to toast   That you're leaving me      I will not cry 'till the fat lady sings   I cannot fly 'cos you clipped my wings   Now you're the picture of my disgrace   So wipe that pretty smile off your face      I wouldn't say we were incomplete   I can't complain you were so discrete   Kept your liaisons to yourself   My soul distraught now I'm getting out      You were delicious   Could never be malicious   Now you hold a knife   Up to my throat      Of it's own volition   You took your ammunition   Came rushing through the air   Like a UFO      I cannot say that I learnt my lesson well   Your mysterious ways have a lot to tell   Sure got a wicked sense of humour   You stick the knife in   And twist it round