That sly cigarette.   Song sung in 1898 by miss. s. h. dudley for the runaway girl   And this is tiny tim trying to redo it.      If girls and boys were asked what joys   They found the most entrancing   Each boy would name his favorite game   >from sports, drink and dancing   But girls with me will all agree   Although you think I'm joking   With twinkling eye they'd make reply   The best of all is smoking.      Oh, sly cigarette   Oh, fine cigarette   Why did you teach me to love you so   When I have to pretend that I don't, you know      (repeat above chorus three times)      Oh, you poor little cigarette!   How they're stomping and crushing you today.   They're taking advantage of your small little nature   They're blaming you for cancer when you can still get   Cholesterol from butter and fat from lard and bacon   And all these meats and cheeses that are causing heart attacks and tumors   Why are they picking on you, oh sly cigarette? it's not fair, somebody has to protest!   And get back to normality again      Oh, sly cigarette   Oh, fine cigarette   Why did you teach me to love you so   When I have to pretend that I don't, you know      Oh, sly cigarette   Oh, fine cigarette   Why did you teach me to love you so   When I have to pretend that I don't, you know