We, your dearest friends   Are having dinner without you    We're witty and we use it to be vicious    In just another minute    We'll laughing about you    To the untrained eye   It wouldn't look suspicious       We, your dearest friends    Don't really care if you have needs    Your hopes and dreams    Are trivial by your standards    We make fun of how you sing    And then we imitate your speech    And the stupid things    You say we like to slander       But we won't reel you out too far    'Cause after all, we need you for    Our ongoing quest       We've bonded here in faithlessness    To undermine your happiness    Toying with your paranoia    Everything you do annoys us    It annoys us       We remember how    You bought us all those gifts    You liked to make us think    You were so generous    Be careful in the future    Of everything you say and do    `Cause it can and will be used    Against you by us       We your dearest friends    Judge you "guilty"    Here and now    Of thinking you're a star    When it's all over    Nobody wants you   And we the least of all    It's been a long time since    You had those famous lovers       But we won't reel you out too far    `Cause after all, we need you for    Our ongoing quest       We've bonded here    In faithlessness    To undermine your happiness    Toying with your paranoia    Everything you do annoys us   (it annoys the hell out of us)       It's not the straw    No, it's the final straw you'll say    Finally you've grown a sturdy backbone    There'll be no invitation to    Your rocky coast this year    Your queenly voice will    Ice us down the telephone       You'll never guess who's joining us    For brandy later on    That's right, it's your bete noir from hell   That's who    Are you worried we might spill the beans    Are you worried we might tell    About your little visit to the bin when    You were cuckoo?       But we won't reel you out too far    `Cause after all, we need you for    Our ongoing quest       We've bonded here in faithlessness    To undermine your happiness    Toying with your paranoia    Everything you do annoys us   It annoys us       Toying with your paranoia       You have an unforgiveable personality    Unforgettable, yes    We were so happy once in the Garden of    The Finzi-Continis    Oh, yes we were    Never more, never more    Here comes the waiter   We'll just put it on your house charge    You'll never know the difference    Never notice