now you don't see me   I have closed my eyes   but now I am lost   you closed your eyes      despair dancing in my heart   as I ran to escape my tears      I, I am alone, there is no God where I am      rise, the memories   now, I'm far away   feel, it's all so useless   I, I blame life for all this      I'm jealous, coming to grief   sometimes I'm not afraid   sometimes I wish you my pain   and sometimes I hate      and if I was a cat   I would stare all the time   with depth in my eyes   right into your stars      time flashes in your eyes   something bigger than life