Down in Dakota County lives the Hook 'Em CowShe's a looker, so we took her to the big pow-wow.Come along and see her, say how-de-do and take a bowVery glad to meet you she's the Hook 'Em Cow. Hook 'Em Cow, hear the song a-rattling Hook 'Em Cow, we're a-coming now Hook 'Em Cow, shooting like a Gatling Clear the street, you're going to meet the Hook 'Em Cow.Now over at the pow-wow things were getting roughAll the kegs were fried, no-ones got enough.Someone said "a burger," and though I thought it murderWe were lookin' to be cookin' up the Hook 'Em Cow. (chorus)Hook 'Em Cow was lookin for a place to runShe's a ramblin' rovin' bovine with a Gatling gun.But Old MacDonald shot her, Mr. Rogers joined the slaughterThey were loppin' and a choppin' up the Hook 'Em Cow. (chorus)