I left school and hit the high street   Had my youth in 6 weeks flat   Top shop, doves and Glastonbury   Learned to be a secretary      If I can't have it, nobody can   You follow the instructions   It's all part of the plan   When you start as you mean to go on      Let's get married, let's have children   Split up when we're 22   Cut our losses, screw our bosses   Get out while we're still young      If I can't have it, nobody can   You follow the instructions   It's all part of the plan   When you start as you mean to go on      Paradise often falls apart      Home improvements for amusement   Smash this place to smithereens   Don't forget to pay the premiums   Go abroad and leave the gas on      If I can't have it, nobody can   You follow the instructions   It's all part of the plan   When you start as you mean to go on      When you start as you mean to go on   When you start as you mean to go on