It's not that I don't love you, you know how much I do   It's not that I'm afraid at all, or that I'm feeling blue   I'm not angry I'm not sick, there's nothing wrong me   You must understand my love I'm lazy, lazy as can be      I'm a lazy, lazy man I stay as lazy as I can   Heaven to me is watching Jeopardy! with my feet up on your upholstery   Waking up and working are two kinds of hell   Loafing is a sacred vow   If you're watching you might be able to tell, I'm rolling over now      Go ahead, take a walk if you like   Play some tennis, water plants, ride your bike   I'll be here inanimate, idle, pardon me if I appear suicidal   Oh I lay my head on a hard loaf of bread wake me when the meal is through   Breakfast in bed would be better instead, if I only didn't have to chew      I'm a lazy, lazy man I stay as lazy as I can   Heaven to me is watching Jeopardy! with my feet up on your upholstery   Waking up and working are two kinds of hell   Loafing is a sacred vow   If you're watching you might be able to tell, I'm rolling over now