Oh, potato, if you only knew,   I'm three years younger than you.   Oh, potato, if only you knew,   Boiled potato.      I had a hole in my heart   And you landed on my plate.   Now, I feel all weak in the knees.   Was it something I ate?       Oh, potato, if you only knew,   I don't know what to do.   Oh, potato, if you only knew,   What I think of you.      You make me hate myself.   You make me feel like a bubbling fool.   I'm stupid and ugly.   You're superior and cool.      Oh, potato, if you only knew,   How many times I think of you.   Oh, potato, if you only knew,   What I think of you.      I'm glad I met ya',   My boiled potato.   I wanna' show you to the world,   To everyone I know.      Oh, potato, if you only knew,   Whenever I think, I think of you.   Oh, potato, if you only knew,   What I think of you.      (anywhere you be)   (be alone with me)      Oh, potato, if you only knew,   I don't know what to do.   Oh, potato, if you only knew,   What I think of you.