I got to keep my shit together   ‘Specially in this nasty weather   Old man winter’s comin’ on   And I think I’ve got to sing this song   But it’s gettin’ hard to work the magic   Sittin’ here or stuck in traffic   Paranoia will employ ya   Classic rock radio destroyer      Baby I’ma soft machine   I’ma soft machine I’ma soft machine   I’m not tough or hard or cruel or mean   I’m the gentle monster on the scene   I’ma soft I’ma soft I’m such a soft machine      I don’t eat veal and I don’t do bacon   Feelin’ the feel I ain’t stealin’ or takin’   I got a non-dairy creamer in my jeans   I’m happy to see her if you know what I mean    Let’s get it on, let’s get it on, let’s get it on   Let’s get it on, let’s get it on   So I hope you take this plaque I’m sendin’   ‘Specially if the world is endin’   The future’s so certain and the end is always near   I say just come in and I have no beer      Yeah momma I’ma soft machine    Dude I’ma soft machine I’ma soft machine   I’ma fuzzy on top and squishy between   So just give me the plow that you’re a soft machine   I’m such a soft machine    Let’s get it on, let’s get it on, let’s get it on   Let’s get it on, let’s get it on, let’s get it on   (Let’s get it on, i’ma soft machine)