See most of my life I never had shit   I felt like an outcast, treated like a misfit    damn near didn't make it on my day of birth   thinkin was I really supposed to be on this planet earth?   I take a deep breath and then another follows    cause hard shit is kind of hard to swallow   see it's rough bein a loner   not knowing any given day & time I can wind up a gonner   see people got it bad from jump street   an' being short is just another strike against me   I used to get funny looks cause I was small   & tryin ta make it was like runnin into a brick wall   given the odds, I was up against broke   the average nigga would have quit a long time ago   but now I got a record out   I'm doin' shows, people pay to see me turn it out   now I'm the spice around town   it's funny how an album can change a nigga's life around   I got friends and bitches on my dick   but when they look at Richard, all they see is Bushwick   sometimes I don't know a friend from a foe   and every different day is a different fuckin hoe   and now that my pockets is gettin bigga   I'm meetin hoe who only wanna juice a nigga   they tell me that they love me and all that   but really they just waitin for me to fall flat   so they could get me for my income   take me for all I got and then some   like Trina, ya dig   I fucked up and got too attached to the bitches kid   knowing that, she used the baby to use me   took him out my life mentally abusing me   but as time wenty by I got another slimmy   & she was just like the first one screamin "gimme"   but not in the exact same way   she had a different type of game she liked to play   her name was Crystal, she played the quiet type   and for a little while shit seemed alright   but just like the first hoe homey   when shit got hectic the bitch broke out on me   And it's gettin outta hand G   cause nobody seems to understand me   reminiscing got me feeling kind of low   I broke out the Everclear and then I drunk some more   until it was all gone   now I'm looking for somebody to take my pain out on   but not just anybody G   I'm a take it on Tamika cause she's the closest to me   full on that Everclear and high on that buddha   get to da house all I'm thinkin 'bout is shootin her   'cause shootin her would be sweet   butcha know what'd be sweeter? If I maker her shoot me   call me crazy but that's what I'm thinkin   I'm trippin from all that smokin weed & drinking   but I knew she wouldn't do it on her own   so I provoked her, punched her, kicked her & choked her   she still wouldn't grab the gun and at that time   I wasn't thinking about no one   damn near crazy I went & grabbed the baby   held him by the door & said "I'm a throw his ass out hoe"   She went to cryin "Somebody stop him"   I said "You better grab the muthaf'n gun or I'm a drop him"   she snatched the baby out of my hands   we started fighting, punching, scratching & biting   well we fell on the bed, check this shit   all kinds of crazy shit was goin through my head   so I ran & got the gun & came back to her   loaded it up and handed the gat to her   I grabbed her hand and placed the gun to my eye muscle   she screamed stop and then we broke into another tussle   Yo, during the fight the gun went off quick *bam*   oh shit, I'm hit..............      riding in the ambulance everything is hectic   I can't get a grip, I just can't check this   everybody's crying   could it be I'm dying?    bullet in the head in the bed I was lyin   where's Mika I wanna tell her I love her   with an I.V. in my arm    I took a picture for an album cover   Goddamn the shit's a trip G   5 different doctors with needles tryin ta stick me   I hear my family hollarin' "He needs us"   during the confusion man I seen Jesus   my mom's on the phone long distance from New York   here come the doctors again trying to rip me apart   I got a monkey on my back I can't shake this   I'm havin suicidal thoughts hopin that I don't make it   but I'm a make it cause something's steady urgin me   5 hours passed, I made it through surgery   and the doctors said I wouldn't make it through the night   but God told me everything is gonna be alright   and I'm glad that I'm here G   but it's FUCKED UP I had to lose an eye   to see shit clearly...      aw man, I made it, I made it   and everyone gets to hear my story, I made it   but don't try this at your home   learn from my mistakes   kick the beat in Bido.....