Two weeks ago last Monday I was driving home at night    The guy in front was pokey, he wanted to see the sites    I didn't wanna be Gumby so I switched to passing gear    When I pulled up along side him, he offered me a beer       "Hey man, you wanna beer?"    "No thanks, man."    "You sure?"    "No, I'm Bob."    "Ok man, we'll see ya later."       I pulled into my driveway, walked up to my front door    I went inside and noticed there were hoof marks on the floor    I measured them with utmost care and thought the tracks were deer    Then suddenly it hit me what was happening in here       There's a Moose in my House    I thought it was a deer    There's a Moose in my House    But now it's really clear    There's a Moose in my House    Got a major problem here    Moose, Moose in my House       What am I gonna tell my Dog?       I checked the mail and found a box from the Sierra Club    I ran into the bathroom and found moose hair in my tub    My bill from Bell has phone calls to the Yukon and Montana    My tooth brush smells like moose breath, I'm missing my pajamas       There's a Moose in my House    I don't know what to do    There's a Moose in my House    I stepped in Moosey poo    There's a Moose in my House    My dog is turning blue    Moose, Moose in my House       I looked in here, I looked in there, I looked in the dirty clothes hamper    I looked in the backyard and found a troop of Cub Scout campers    I asked them why that they were here it is my yard you know    They said they "we are moose hunters, this is the place to go"       "We're moose hunters!"    "Oh yeah?"    "He's in your house!"    "I know. Ya wanna get outta my yard?""       I know this all sounds stupid, you probably think I'm dumb    You might think I'm a mental case or maybe just a bum    But someday you just might come home and find a big surprise    A moose takes up a lot of space and really draws the flies       There's a Moose in my House    I thought it was deer    There's a Moose in my House    But now it's really clear    There's a Moose in my House    I should have had that beer    There's a Moose in my House    Got a major problem here       There's a Moose in my House    I don't know what to do    There's a Moose in my House    I steeped in Moosy poo    There's a Moose in my House    I hope that there aren't two    There's a Moose in my House    My dog is turning blue