My cat died and I quickly poured myself some gin   Did she die from old age or was it for my sins?   God I loved her oh so much, miss her little kitty touch   Does she miss me, does she care? Oh I miss her kitty stare   Do you have a little time, would you like to ease my mind?   Talk for hours and never stop, chop your head off   Be a lighter person, brighter person, nicer   But you've heard it all before      So ding dong, there's the doorbell   Hello man in white   He's gonna make you all well   Get you through the night   But hey now   You don't feel better   As you take your fresh bromide   Maybe this man of letters lied      Let me tell you 'bout a dream, I had the other night   You were in it boy, you sure gave me a super fright   I was walking down the street, downtown by the D.M.V.   You popped out behind a door, it was odd you were on all fours   Do you have some time to spare, you were barking at a bear   It said, "Hey you'd better stop, chop your head off   Be a lighter person, brighter person, nicer"   But you've heard it all before      So ding dong, there's the doorbell   Hello man in red   He's gonna make you all well   Get you into bed   But hey now   You don't feel better   As you wake and slowly rise   Maybe this smooth jet-setter lied      Stick around one minute more, I'm smarter than you think   Do I sound like an old bore, oh man it's just the drink   I didn't always hit the gin, there were times when I fit in   They'll never know how much I tried, did I tell you my cat died?   Do you have a little time, would you like to feel sublime?   Run away and never stop, chop your head off   Be a lighter person, brighter person, nicer   But you've heard it all before      So ding dong, there's the doorbell   Hello man in black   He's gonna make you all well   There's no goin' back   But hey now you don't feel better   As you drift off in the tide   Maybe this Jack the Ripper lied   And you died