Orpheus sat gloomy in his garden shed   Wondering what to do   With a lump of wood and a piece of wire   And a little pot of glue   Oh mama, oh mama      He sawed at the wood with half a heart   And glued it top to bottom   He strung a wire in between   He was feeling something rotten   Oh mama, oh mama      Orpheus looked at his instrument   And he gave the wire a pluck   He heard a sound so beautiful   He gasped and said, "Oh my God"   Oh mama, oh mama      He rushed inside to tell his wife   He went racing down the halls   Eurydice was still asleep in bed   Like a sack of cannonballs   Oh mama, oh mama      "Look what I've made", cried Orpheus   And he plucked a gentle note   Eurydices eyes popped from their sockets   And her tongue burst through her throat   Oh mama, oh mama, oh mama, oh mama      "Oh God, what have I done" he said   As her blood pooled in the sheets   But in his heart he felt a bliss   Which nothing could compete   Oh mama, oh mama      Orpheus went leaping through the fields   Strumming as hard as he did please   Birdies detonated in the sky   Bunnies dashed their brains out on the trees   Oh mama, oh mama, oh mama, oh mama      Orpheus strummed till his fingers bled   He hit a G minor seven   He woke up God from a deep, deep sleep   God was a major player in Heaven   Oh mama, oh mama      God picked up a giant hammer   And he threw it with an thunderous yell   It smashed down hard on Orpheus' head   And it knocked him down a well   Oh mama, oh mama      Well, the well went down very deep   Very deep went down the well   Well, the well went down so very deep   Well, the well went down to Hell   Oh mama, oh mama      Poor Orpheus woke up with a start   All amongst the rotting dead   His lyre tucked safe under his arm   His brains all down his head   Oh mama, oh mama      Eurydice appeared brindled in blood   She said to Orpheus   "If you play that fucking thing down here   I'll stick it up your orifice"   Oh, mama, oh mama      "This lyre lark is for the birds", said Orpheus   "It's enough to send you bats   Let's stay down here, Eurydice, dear   And we'll have a bunch of screaming brats"   Oh, mama, oh mama      Orpheus picked up his lyre for the last time   He was on a real low down bummer   He stared deep into the abyss and said   "This one is for mama"   Oh, mama, oh mama      Oh mama, oh mama   Oh mama, oh mama   Oh mama, oh mama   ...