It was a used car dealer's election   And the choice was rather small   The boys agreed, "It's the war we need   So there's no president at all"      Here's to Nixon and Agnew   They are the stars of the stage and screen   Not since Laurel and Hardy   Have I laughed so hard, I screamed      I thought that Johnson was the devil   I thought we couldn't do no worse   Now the White House stands in Disneyland   This country must be under a curse      Here's to Nixon and Agnew   They are the stars of the stage and screen   Not since Laurel and Hardy   Have I laughed so hard, I screamed      I dreamed that Nixon died of a suntan   There was only Spiro left   At his swearing in, he fell on his chin   He assassinated himself      Here's to Nixon and Agnew   They are the stars of the stage and screen   Not since Laurel and Hardy   Have I laughed so hard, I screamed