The Count has an eye on his ankle,   And lives in a horrible place,   He wants all your money,   He's never at all funny,   He wants to remove your face.      And you might be thinking what a romp this is,   But wait till you meet his accomplices.   When you see Count Olaf, you're suddenly full of   Disgust and despair and dismay!   In the whole of the soul of Count Olaf   There's no love,   When you see Count Olaf, count to zero...   Then scream and run away.      Scream, scream, scream, and run away,   Run, run, run, run, run, run, run,   Or die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die,   Run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run   Or die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die.      Two women with powdered-white faces,   And one long-nosed bald man with warts,   Things worsen and worsen,   There's a hook-handed person,   And others with nastier parts.      This evil and unpleasant group   Complete Count Olaf's acting troupe.   The goal of Count Olaf is getting control of    The fortunes of urchins and orphans, hooray!   I mean, horrors! Count Olaf is no laughing matter,   When you see Count Olaf, count to zero...   Then scream, and run away      Scream, scream, scream, and run away   Run, run, run, run, run, run, run,   Or die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die   Run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run   Or die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die.