He's trying hard to keep control and lead the way   He's finding all the perfect words to say to me   I'm climbing stairs with only one thing on my mind   To kick a habit of lost opportunity      It's only natural to want what doesn't come   I swiped away all of the pawns under my thumb   But like the ending of a one act play   The curtain closes and the actors run away      And I'm up against the wall   Wondering why I came at all   Yes, I'm up against the wall   Trying to disappear, oh      I look around and watch the world as it goes by   Wondering how small, how small am I   He makes a gesture to distract me from a thought   It goes against most everything that I've been taught      It's when you wake up and you can't go back to sleep   It's when you wonder 'bout the company you keep   It's when you wake up in the middle of your life   And you just can't cut it with the dull end of a knife      And I'm up against the wall   Wondering why I came at all   Yes, I'm up against the wall   Trying to disappear, oh      You know, the way you're walkin' makes you seem larger than life   You turn the key to door, you're turning me on   My mind spins high above the world   That's the way I feel      It's only natural to want what doesn't come   I swiped away all of the pawns under my thumb   But like the ending of a one act play   The curtain closes and the actors run away      And I'm up against the wall   Wondering why I came at all   Yes, I'm up against the wall   Trying to disappear, oh