Johnny was a pyro and he acted like a baby   Wanted all this attention I couldn't give   Drink a bottle of hard stuff, say I love you now save me   Just a big guy with a funny sense of sin      And the neighbor down the block in his underwear and socks   Keeping track of the losses and wins with his wife   Hanging out the window wondering which way the wind blows   As I fumble the key in the lock again, singing      Oh me, what am I doing with this ring on my hand?   Oh me, if this is the good life who's choosin' it?   Oh me, mama's best woman and daddy's best man   Oh me, I'm highly in danger of losin' it      Johnny was a pyro and he acted like a baby   Got a phone call from the wild almost every night   Well, he loved me but he really loved looking past me to the ladies   He was much too good looking for his height      We were a couple of kids crawling out of the crib   Talking about the positives and the negatives of wine   Living our lives just like Hemingway did   But he was lucky, he was a genius most the time      Oh me, what am I doing with this ring on my hand?   Oh me, if this is the good life who's choosin' it?   Oh me, mama's best woman and daddy's best man   Oh me, I'm highly in danger of losin' it      He was sideswiped by the clue bus when it came to talking two of us   And the whole thing ended ugly, I guess   You can put your cards out on the table but if nobody wants to play   Well, you haven't got a game, you got a mess      And I was looking at the judge leaning on my lawyer like a crutch   And the judge said what happened and why?   I said, "Johnny was a pyro and he acted like a baby"   Now there's nothing like the sound of good bye      Oh me, what am I doing with this ring on my hand?   Oh me, if this is the good life who's choosin' it?   Oh me, mama's best woman and daddy's best man   Oh me, I'm highly in danger of losin' it      Johnny was a pyro and he acted like a baby   Wanted all of this attention I couldn't give