Here we have our dust free dining set   We guarentee it won't collect a spec   Freeing up the children to instead   Grow into your molding   Heed more of your scolding   Go early to their new self-making beds      It seems like you'd be tired of losing face   Like you'd want to put the children in their place   The more you have to tell them to do their chores   The more you run the risk of being ignored      If you're lucky they'll turn out as good as you   You tell them that they're good kids   But you know that it's not true      Your father drank a little   You're on liver number two      Progress has a way of feigning ease   Convenient new inventions bait the tease   For though it is impossible to cure   A husband bent on cheating   The oxygen's depleting   A child who's always bragging   A wife's persistent nagging   We're equipped to live as though it were      If you're lucky they'll turn out as good as you   You tell them that they're good kids   But you know that it's not true      Your father drank a little   You're on liver number two