I'm the meanest man that ever had a brain   All I scatter is aches and pains   I'm carbolic acid and a poison face   And I stand flat-footed in favor of crime and disgrace   If I ever done a good deed, I'm sorry of it      I'm mean in the East, mean in the West   Mean to the people that I like the best   I go around a-causin' lot of accidents   And I push folks down and I cause train wrecks   I'm a big disaster, just goin' somewhere's to happen   I'm an organized famine studyin', now I can be a little bit meaner   I'm still a whole lot too good to suit myself, just mean      I ride around on the subway trains   Laughin' at the tight shoes dealin' you pain   And I laugh when the car shakes from side to side   I laugh my loudest when other people cry   Can't help it, I was born good, I guess   Just like you or anybody else   But then I just turned off mean      I hate ev'rybody don't think like me   And I'd rather see you dead than I'd ever see you free   Rather see you starved to death than see you at work   And I'm readin' all the books I can to learn how to hurt   Daily misery, spread diseases, keep you without no vote   Keep you without no union      Well, I hurt when I see you gettin' 'long so well   I'd ten times rather see you in the fires of hell   I can't stand to fixed   See you there all fixed up in that house so nice   I'd rather keep you in that rotten hole with the bugs and the lice   And the roaches and the termites   And the sand fleas and the tater bugs      And the grub worms and the stingaree's   And the tarantulas, and the spiders, child?s of the earth   The ticks and the blow-flies, these is all of my little angels   That go 'round helpin' me do the best parts of my meanness   And mosquiter's      Well, I used to be a pretty fair organized feller   Till I turned a scab and then I turned off yeller   Fought ev'ry union with teeth and toenail   And I sprouted a six-inch stinger right in the middle of the tail   And I growed horns   And then I cut 'em off, I wanted to fool you   I hated union ever'where, 'cause God likes unions and I hate God      Well, if I can get the fat to hatin' the lean   That'd tickle me more than anything I've seen   Then get the colors to fightin' one another   And friend against friend, and brother and sister against brother   That'll be just it      Everybody's brains a-boilin' in turpentine   And their teeth fallin' out all up and down the streets   That'll just suit me fine   'Cause I hate ever'thing that's union   And I hate ever'thing that's organized   And I hate ever'thing that's planned   And I love to hate and I hate to love   I'm mean, I'm just mean