This is a national service announcement for all men   If you go to Bolton   If you go to Manchester   Or crewe   Newcastle, or Scarborough   York, or Scunthorp, Bradford, Barnsley too   or Grimsby   Listen up to what we have to say      Northern birds are lazy ugly whores who smell of burgers   So dont have too much to drink   or you might fuck one   and end up getting aids      Theres nothing fun   To be found off the M1   Northern birds are lower class   Slags who take it up the arse      They're in the sack   after one cider and black   but they're fucking awful rides   and your dick won't touch the sides      Da-da-da-da-da-da   da-da-da-da      Northern Birds      Da-da-da-da-da      If you really have to   Go up north then follow our advice   Fight away the women   Or you'll find yourself with Pubic lice   And herpes   Your much better staying in the South   Northern Birds   are desperate ugly hippos dressed in Burberry   With a peanut for a brain   And an accent that makes you want to die      Now you've been warned   Theyre all physically deformed   Northern birds   are all obese   and theyre riddled with disease      Try to escape   Northern sex is worse than rape   Stay down south and mark my words   Stear well clear of northern birds      Northern birds      Northern birds