(Ahh ahh)   There's a voice on the phone   Who just called in to say   "Mr. Jones isn't home, he'll be gone for the day"      So he pulls down the blind   To adjust his disguise   But it's all in his mind which he proudly denies      Turn the boat back from the weir   Where to go from here, I can't hide from each face I see   Looking out from behind them is me      I'm attempting to guess   What they meant when they said   "Mr. Jones and his guest won't be using the bed"      So if I take the rap   While they stay out of sight   I can spring from the trap when the timing is right      One minute I think I know what I mean   The next I hear voices inside disagree   Why are they laughing at me?      Oww!   Ha ha ha ha   Oww!   Ha ha ha ha   Ah      So I pick up the phone   Someone's asking of me   Is the real Mr. Jones, Mister one, two or three?   (One two three)      So I say that they're not   But it's not as I say   'Cause they're all that I''ve got and I can't get away      Alice waves us through the glass, are we home at last?   For tomorrow they'll be here you see   Locked away safe inside there with me   'Cause tomorrow they'll be here you'll see   Locked away safe inside there with me      One minute I think I know what I mean   The next I hear voices inside disagree   Why are they laughing at me?