Went down to Albert's Alley   Pick up on me a Collins mix   Went to the bar an' ordered me a drink   Tried to relax myself      Looked around and saw two soul sisters   They were sippin' sodas   And the other look caught their companions   On the dance floor   They were doin' the Collin's shuffle      Pretty soon a cute little number   Came and asked me to do the stomp polka   I told her I couldn't do the stomp polka   I could show her how to do the Sissy      We were on the dance floor   And I was doin' my thing   After a while out of nowhere   Up walks her boyfriend   While she's standin' there doin' the shivers and shake      He gave me a look that was very icy blue   And believe me, he made me thaw out!   I said to myself, "Albert, don't lose your cool"      By that time I'd gotten hungry   'Cause I smelled someone cookin' catfish   Oughta be something along, with some greens   Told him definitely, I didn't want no leftovers!      The cook took so long about fixin' my grub   I had to go see what was takin' him so long   He was back there jivin'   I had to tell him to get it together      He asked me, "Can't you wait?"   Made me mad, I said, "No man, I ain't got time,   I've got to keep on pushin',   I got to make it down the soul road,   Got to go, do some turnin' on"      Don't want person, give me no dyin' food   So I'm leavin' town, goin' home   I've got homesick anyway   I'm leavin' this place before I freeze   Goin' home to defrost   Ain't gonna have me lookin' like a snow cone      I don't know, he's gettin' rough!