You will never know how many times over I thought about what we had and where it went. Part of me wonders was it really all my fault. But the other half just knows. I have become a failure. Everything is ripping at the seems and igniting behind me. Dyslexic even in my dreams. But I'm trying. The night is still young. You were the best hostage I ever had. But I want my ransom. I want something to show for myself after all the years. So far I have nothing. Fears will control my life forever if I let them. I have always been afraid of myself. My commitments and my endeavors have never seen the light of day because of this. I have become a failure. Everything is ripping at the seems and igniting behind me. Dyslexic even in my dreams. Everything is backwards. Everything is wrong. But I'm trying. The night is still young. This is a vicious cycle that only I can reverse. I have become a failure. Everything is backwards. Everything is wrong.