return to the usual frustration   with your constant confusion   you are preoccupied with the past   captured in contemporary nothingness   regain consciousness because right now you are waiting and waiting and it is all so questionable   set an alarm clock and wake up from this trance   something about circumstances and interruptions   you will leave me for good to examine your identity abroad while everything i know is at stake   stoic and this cardiac arrest loneliness is hurting me.