Rock it hard, rock it steady    Pick yourself up and get yourself ready    Wave your arms let me hear you yell    We're gonna rap about General Hospi-Tale       It started out in Port Charles town    Where Frank Smith's mob used to hang around    No one could prove that he was a crook    Till Luke stole his little black book       It had names and numbers all in code    So Luke and Laura had to hit the road    They had to find the left-handed boy    Watch their step, they had to be coy       The gold involved was worth so much    Others wanted it like Sally and Hutch    But there's one thing I must confess    Sally was a man who wore a dress       Luke kept his cool, he ain't no fool    He set them both up cold    Well Sally died, Hutch survived    And no one got the gold       "Paging Dr. Noah Drake to ICU to treat a case of heartbreak"       They keep me waiting    I don't mind waiting    Don't call me crazy    No I'm not lazy    My day won't go right    I can't sleep all night    My hands start shaking    My knees start aching    I just can't cope without my soap       General Hospi-Tale    General Hospi-Tale    Umm, number one    General Hospi-Tale    You're my worst affliction    General Hospi-Tale    You're my favorite addiction       Monica likes to have her fun    That is why she had a son    She told Rick he was the dad    Soon found out that he'd been had       "There's one thing that you can give me that Leslie can't and that's passion"       Alan was the father, of course    And he won't give Monica a divorce    Rick wants to get Leslie back    Heather's havin' an insane attack       "I'll get Diana Taylor"       She's not crazy, uh-uh, no never    She just wants to get Dr. Jeff Webber    Jeff wants Annie for his wife    But he might have to wait all of his life    Cause good girls don't, and Annie won't    And you all know what I mean       Amy Vining likes to blab    Richard Simmons helps fight flab    Susan's having Alan's baby    Noah wants Bobbi for his lady       Well Luke got another job    The Quartermaines are the brand new mob    Laura's the receptionist    What's missing now is the Ice Princess       "Yes, Luke Spencer, please"       Diamonds, not gold, are in it this time    Scorpio, the house of Cassadine    On and on and on it goes    How it ends up nobody knows, cause       They keep me waiting    I don't mind waiting    Don't call me crazy    No I'm not lazy    My day won't go right    I can't sleep all night    If I don't find out    It blows my mind out    I just can't cope without my soap       General Hospi-Tale    General Hospi-Tale    Umm, number one    General Hospi-Tale    You're my worst affliction    General Hospi-Tale    You're my favorite addiction       General Hospi-Tale    Addiction, addiction    General Hospi-Tale    Addiction, addiction    General Hospi-Tale    You're my inspiration    General Hospi-Tale    Gonna stay tuned to this station    General Hospi-Tale    Addiction, addiction    General Hospi-Tale    Tell me what's goin' on    Did you see it today?    General Hospi-Tale    Tell me what's goin' on!    General Hospi-Tale    Addiction, addiction    I love my General Hospi-Tale