Foolish bride call me up, beg to scratch her itch   Rich old man got the needle, slipped and dropped a stitch   Name the time, name the price, leave your door unlocked   I'll bring a toy guaranteed to put the spring in your shocks      Sumthin' for nuthin'   Well, in and out, it's never free   Sumthin' for nuthin'   Leave the money where it's easy, easy to see      Gigolo sounds so cold, call me teacher's pest   Twice a day, double pay, at my trade I'm the best   Never late, watch her watch, seconds on the clock   Overtime, break my back, slip and fall in the crack      Sumthin' for nuthin'   Well, in and out, it's never free   Sumthin' for nuthin'   Leave the money where it's easy, easy to see      She plays the role of a roving matriarch   Diamond rings, fancy things, Dubonnet on the rocks   For a treat, gave it free, happy sixty three   Crazy days, easy money, I was just sixteen   Easy money for such a good deed      Sumthin' for nuthin'   Ya, in and out it's never free   Sumthin' for nuthin'   Satisfaction guaranteed      Sumthin' for nuthin'   Target practice in the dark   Sumthin' for nuthin'   I'm a crack shot on the mark   And I love my work      Sumthin', nuthin'   Sumthin', nuthin'