Well you should see my story-reading baby, you should hear things that she saysShe says "Hon, drop dead, I'd rather go to bed with Gabriel Garcia Marquez"Cuddle up with William S. Burroughs, leave on the light for bell hooksI been flirtin' with Pierre Burton 'cause he's so smart in his books I like to go out dancing My baby loves a bunch of authors My heart's so broke and bleedin' Baby's just sittin' there doin' some readin'So I started watching some TV, played my new CD player tooShe said "Turn it off or I'll call the cops, and I'll throw the book at you"All this arguing made me get dizzy, called my doctor to came have a lookI said "Doctor, hurry!" She said: "Don't worry, I'll be over when I finish my book" I like to go out dancing My baby loves a bunch of authors We've been livin' in hovels Spendin' all our money on brand new novelsSo I got myself on the streetcar and it drove right into someoneThe driver said: "I was looking straight ahead!" but he was reading the Toronto SunSo my honey and me go to a counsellor to help figure out what we needShe said: "We'll get your love growin', but before we get goin' here's some books I'd like you to read" I like to go out dancing My baby loves a bunch of authors Lately we've had some friction 'Cause my baby's hooked on short works of fictionSo we split and went to a party, some friends my girl said she knewBut what a sight 'cause it's authors night and the place looks like a who's whoNow I'm poundin' the Ouzo - with Mario PuzoWho's a funny fella? - W.P. KinsellaWho brought the cat? - would Margaret Atwood?Who needs a shave? - he's Robertson Davies!Ondartje started a food fight, salmon mousse all over the sceneSpilled some dressing on Doris Lessing these writer types are a scream! I like to go out dancing My baby loves a bunch of authors We'll be together for ages Eatin' and sleepin' and turnin' pages