Ellen, I fell in big loving with you.    I saw you by that pool.    I thought you thought I was cool.    I felt a longing in my tool.    So dye your hair    Or change your name    Have your left arm surgically removed    No matter what you do    I'll be in love with you.    Ellen, I fell in big loving with you.    You like corn, you like twelve,    You keep a pomade on your shelf    You've got a walnut like myself.    You've got grooves    And you've got shoes    And even though you lose your marbles    And you panic in a crisis I'm in love with you.    Pose was once your man but you scared him away.    Now your man is Dan (that's me!)    And I am here to stay.    Ellen, I fell in big loving with you.    Ellen, I fell in big loving with you.    If you were blind in one eye, quadriplegic    Or if you lost all your teeth    So that I had to chew your food for you,    No matter what you do,    I'll be in love with you!