Well I must have been stoned when this whole started   'Cause I just can't seem to think straight anymore      Can't figure out where I'm at   Maybe Memphis, maybe Mexico   I think you're swell but I ain't gonna tell you so   I think you're great but it's late and I'd better go      Hitchhike to Rome   Take the Greyhound to Fredericks burg   Well I'm flat broke, I've been smoking butts for days      You say, "Maybe you can stay with me?   I say, "Lady, that's a dangerous plan"   You're quite a woman, but I don't wanna be your man   You're quite a kisser, but listen close and understand      Take a letter to God, dear Sir, I'm dissatisfied   Well it ain't Your fault they keep pouring salt on my heart   All I need is a brief reprieve, I keep leaving, I ain't gettin' nowhere      Won't you linger, let me run my fingers through your hair?   Won't you stay? I can't play like I don't care   I think You're dope, and I hope I'm making myself clear   I think You're fly and that's why I'm getting out of here      Well, I must have been stoned   Well, I must have been stoned   Well, I must have been stoned   Good Lord, I wish I'd been stoned