The man's in the moon and the cat's in the criddle   And I'm in the dog house   It never would have happened if my best friend   Wasn't such a loud mouth      Well she heard things that she don't like   about my nights out   Now she's on me like an old cheap suit   I'm in the doghouse      Well the dog's eating good and he don't care   If I'm chewin' bones in the cold night air   The whole thing seems just a little unfair   There he sits in my favourite chair      Whoever said they were man's best friend   Had it all wrong   If she finds out you've been runnin' with the pack   You'll be doggone   She says she's got a bone to pick   I should have sat up and should have fetched a stick   i cant stay here scratching fleas and ticks I'm in the doghouse      Well I can tell things are gettin' real bad   I bit the mailman   I been chasin' cars up and down the street   Instead of women   The dog and my wife are gettin' mighty thick   Lookin' through the window just makes me sick   This old dog better learn a new trick   I'm in the doghouse