I brush my teeth and look in the mirror   And laugh out loud as I'm beaming from ear to ear   I'd rather pick flowers instead of fights   And rather than flaunt my style   I'd flash you a smile of clean pearly whites      I've been to the dentist a thousand times   So I know the drill, I smooth my hair   Sit back in the chair   But somehow I still get the chills      "Have a seat", he says pleasantly   As he shakes my hand and practically laughs at me   "Open up nice and wide", he says peering in   And with a smirk he says, "Don't have a fit   This'll just pinch a bit", as he tries not to grin      When hygienists leave on long vacations   That's when dentists scream   And lose their patience      Talking only brings the toothaches on   Because I say the stupidest things   So if my result goes south   I'll swallow my pride with an Aspirin   And shut my mouth      Golf and alcohol don't mix   And that's why I don't drink and drive   Because good grief, I'd knock out my teeth   And have to kiss my smile goodbye      I've been to the dentist a thousand times   So I know the drill, I smooth my hair   Sit back in the chair   But somehow I still get the chills