Imitation leather, pink Naugahyde   Two inch tear down the left-hand side   Came from daddy's pocketknife, that wasn't my fault   Moved along with us everywhere we went   No matter where we lived it always fit it   Kinda like our next of kin, if that chair could talk      My little brother, Billy, broke his left hand   Jumpin' off the arm like superman   With my grandma's old red Afghan tied around his neck   It's where at least a thousand books were read   Our Siamese cat made it her bed   It even heard an 'I thee wed'   When sister married in the living room      To that Phillips boy from just down the block   If that chair could talk      Mama bought it in a yard sale in 65   It was daddy's favorite chair after he retired   Survived all of that and a kitchen fire   Smoke stains wiped right off   It's where I spent a million hours talkin' on the phone   It was my favorite spot to polish my toes   Somethin' mama didn't know, if that chair could talk      From leave it to beaver to the Brady bunch   Chicken noodle soup and captain crunch   TV dinners to Sunday lunch, and movies late at night   Brother tippin' me backwards until' I screamed   He'd get in trouble for bein' so mean   And when he told mama that he'd joined the marines   It's where she sat down in shock      The good, the bad, it's seen it all   If that chair could talk      It caught my tears   Held me up when I felt bad   It called my fears   It's good to keep a friend like that      It hid the ice cream money for hot summer days   It listened while I practiced for my high school play   And all the times it heard me pray when things were goin' rough   And it's where Bobby Baker gave me my first kiss   Mama came in and nearly had a fit   There's footprints of my life all over it   We've been through a lot      The good, the bad, it's seen it all   If that chair could talk      Imitation leather, pink Naugahyde   Two inch tear down the left hand side