One, two, three, four      I am not so upset about my horrible self   So why don't you go upset yourself   Hey here's the mirror see your stupid face   What a disgrace man and you know it's true      Cretin family, cretin family,   Cretin family, everyone's against me   Cretin family, cretin family, cretin family,   Oi, oi, oi, oi      Don't stare at me it's freakin' me out   Look what's happenin' now it's all your fault   You can't do nothin' absolutely nothin' okay   Why don't you get a hula hoop? And do the cretin hop and      Cretin family, cretin family,   Cretin family, everyone's against me   Cretin family, cretin family, cretin family,   Oi, oi, oi, oi      I'm never wrong, tell me what to do?   Here's a little curse it's from me to you   It's nothin' gonna happen nothin' ever will   You'll be miserable every day your luck will always be bad      Cretin family, cretin family,   Cretin family, everyone's against me   Cretin family, cretin family, cretin family,   Oi, oi, oi, oi      Everyone's against me, oi, oi, oi, oi   Everyone's against me, oi, oi, oi, oi   Everyone's against me, oi, oi, oi, oi   Everyone's against me, oi, oi, oi, oi