I woke you up at four this morning   To whimper and to whine   To hear myself through spit and crackle   Of a poor long distance line   Twelve clever ways to say I love you   With words that always fail   Hang up and light a cigarette   Sit waiting for the mail   Some flyers from department stores   A, another get rich plan   A bill or two, some shampoo and a note from Ed McMann   Although you'll always be the one in which I will confide   Sometimes you're the razor on my private water slide      Chorus:   By the way, I got your letter yesterday   It said there's no need to be sad   It said that some things would never ever change   But that some already had   And I'd heard it from the corner of my ear   How that voice makes things right   And I'm sure there's something more than memory   Across the Maryland bridge tonight      How ominous these undercurrents   They crowd me now it seems   And every time I meet you in the darkness of my dreams   It's likely that I'll turn around and parody myself   Imagine we're in different places   Pretend we're someone else   I can be J. Edgar Hoover   You be JFK   As power hungry egocentrics   We'll paper fight the nights away   sometimes you're my nemesis   When I am paranoid   Sometimes I have doubts and worries   Too strong to avoid      Chorus      Maryland bridge tonight