Me and my buddy got us a wild hair   And decided we wanted to go somewhere   So we loaded up in my ragtop Chevrolet   We had a lil' bit of money and a whole lot of show   And with Hank Jr. blarin' on the radio   We had a tank full of gas and we was on our way      We figured we'd go down to New Orleans   We were barreling old 17   When a man with a red blinking light was on our tail   He said you were doing 60 in a 45   But I’m gonna let you go this time   But if I catch u again   I'm gonna slap you up in the county jail   We said thank you sir you sure been nice   And you ain’t gonna have to tell us twice   And we southbound down with the wind blowin’ in our faces   We kept on rollin’ and pretty soon   The radio was cookin' out a haggard tune   And we were pullin’ into Houston   Checkin’ out all them places      I was feelin’ dry and I said I think   We ought to stop and get ourselves a drink   And o' Jim said yeah   'Cause we got time to kill   We kept on rollin' and I seen this spot   So we pulled into the parking lot   Of this place called the cloud nine bar and grill      We walked through the door the place was jammed   The lights were low they had a punk rock band   And some orange-haired fella singin' 'bout suicide   I said Jim this ain't our kinda place   He said well let's just have one-round any way   So against my better judgement we walked on inside   Went up to the bar and we sat down   This fellar walked up and said I’ll buy this round   And he sat down on the barstool next to Jim      He looked like a girl but he talked like a guy   Had lipstick on and mascara in his eye   And everybody in that place looked just about like him   I said Jim this ain't our kind of bar   Let's just go and back in get back in the car   'Cause there's gonna be trouble   Ain’t no since in takin' a chance   We was gettin' up gettiny ready to leave   In somebody grabbed o' Jim by the sleeve   It was this good lookin' girl askin' my buddy to dance      I said Jim don't do it theirs somethin' missin'   There’s fellars dancin' and fellars kissin'   There’s a fellar in high-heeled shoes wearin' panty hose   He said partner I just can’t turn this down   You go on over there and have one more round   And I’ll go dance with a lady   And we'll get on down the road      So he walked away and left me alone   But this funny lookin' fellar kept comin' on   And he was makin' me mad    With some of the things he was sayin'   And then he put his hand on my knee   I said if you don’t get your paw off me   I’m gonna relocate your nose around   On the side of your head      He said I love it when you get that fire in your eyes   I said well partner try this on for size   And I unloaded on him and he went out like a light   Everybody in that place must've been his friend   They all headed for me I said this is the end   But where I come from we don't give up without a fight      They were screamin' and yellin' and scratchin’ and clawin'   I was punchin' and hittin' and kickin' and pawin'   I was holdin' my own 'cause I’ve been in a scrap or two   O’ Jim comin' runnin' up out of the blue   And that gal he was with comin' runnin' up too   And proceeded to beat on me with a high heel shoe      I grabbed her by the hair it came off in my hand   And that beautiful girl was just a beautiful man   And o' Jim just got sick right there on the floor      He dropped that dude like a shot from a gun   Smeared his lipstick made his makeup run   And me and ol' Jim started fightin' our way to the door      We lit out of there in that Chevrolet   Put it on the floor and it stayed that way   We were goin' down the highway doin' bout a 110   We were headed for home and we was gettin' nearer   Then a red light came on the rear view mirror   And that same blame cop was pullin' us over again      Now I’m sittin' here in this county jail   Had to call my daddy to go our bail   But I learned me a lesson I never will forget again   I done give up drinkin' I give up bars   And runnin' around the country in souped up cars   I’m goin' back here the women are women   And the men are men