Once a year my friend puts on a red suit  And hangs around with me and my wife  But lately I've been feeling jealous each time she climbs on his knee  And she stands beneath the mistletoe screaming  For him to stand beneath the mistletoe screaming  Now I can't help but feeling jealous each time she climbs on his knee  Why must she climb on his knee?  CHORUS  I saw my baby wearing Santa's beard  She kissed him once and whispered in his ear  I saw my baby wearing Santa's beard  I whish he would go  He's breaking up my home  She always had this twisted side to her  But she'd never drag my name around town  But lately she's been humming cheating songs  And I don't like that fat guy around  No, I don't like that fat guy around  Thrilling Christmas, trembling fear  CHORUS  --------------------------------------------------------------------------