There are rats there are bats   There are stinky mangy cats  But the worst thing in the world is a lawyer.  There are weasels there are skunks  There are bandits there are punks  But the worst thing in the world is a lawyer.  With their quips and their quiddities  Their fees and their contingencies...     There are lice there are mice   There are lots of things not nice  But the worst thing in the world is a lawyer.  With their 'res ipso locuter'  And their 'respondeat superior'   Yes the worst thing in the world is a lawyer.     There's thrombosis, halitosis  And there's diverticulosis  But the worst thing in the world is a lawyer.  Diarrhea, gonorrhea and seborrhea  But the worst thing in the world is a lawyer.  With their proximate causes and their escape clauses  Yes the worst thing in the world is a lawyer.     With "affirmative defenses" - I'd rather see a dentist!    There are rats there are bats   There are stinky mangy cats   But the worst thing in the world is a lawyer.   There are weasels there are skunks  There are bandits there are punks  But the worst thing in the world is a lawyer.   With their quips and their quiddities   Their fees and their contingencies   Yes the worst thing in the world is a lawyer.