written by: Malcolm McLaren/David Lebolt  INTRODUCING LOURDES & PRETTY FATT  A sweet tuxedo girl you see  Queen of ball society  Fond of fun  As fun as fond can be  When it's on the strict Q.T.  I'm not too young  I'm not too old  Not too timid  Not too bold  Just the kind you like to hold  Just the kind for sport I'm told  Hell's a poppin  When I'm waltzing  In my stockings  Hell's a poppin in the whole wide world  I'm a blushing bud of innocence  Says Papa at a big expense  Old maids say I have no sense  Boys declare I'm just immense  For my song I do conclude  I want it strictly understood  Though fond of fun, I'm never rude  Though not too bad I'm not too good  Never put your hands on a man except in dancing  Whispering, giggling at the same time have no place  In good society  Don't think you can be rude to anyone and escape  Wh, wh, whispering is always rude  Don't hang on to anyone for support  Don't stand or walk with your chest held in and  Your hips forward in an imitation of a reverse letter S